


The Unquiet Winds

by paynesgrey



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2010-09-08
Updated: 2015-05-25
Packaged: 2020-01-31 20:24:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 10,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18598771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paynesgrey/pseuds/paynesgrey
Summary: Natsumi dreams of another woman's past, a woman who desperately wants to reunite with the man she loves, even if Natsumi has to suffer in the end.





	1. I Dreamed a Dream

**Author's Note:**

> This new serial was started to follow the themes for contests at Livejournal. This prologue was written for the "cloth" theme at [](http://iy-themes.livejournal.com/profile)[iy_themes](http://iy-themes.livejournal.com/).

In every dream, Natsumi remembered the scent of burning blood. The coppery scent stung at her nostrils, heightened by the unimaginable pain that always pulsated within her chest.

Somehow in her dream, she had lost her heart, and her attacker had returned it, only he had poisoned it, and Natsumi (or the lady in her dreams) was going to die anyway.

 _How tragic_ , she thought sourly, but despite dying, Natsumi remembered being happy in her dreams. Free.

The blood soaked her clothes, and when she clutched her chest, she could feel the wetness mixed with poison, seeping from her wound and caking her fingers. The blood was jet black, not red like usual, but an ominous color that told Natsumi that the woman she was playing in her dreams wasn’t even human. She was a demon, and once she had done terrible things, but soon later, she had done something good and redeemed herself only to pay a fatal price.

She coughed, a poison film on her lips, and she gazed up into the blinding sunlight and noticed a figure towering over her. An angel? Maybe. His shadow shielded her from the sun, and she recognized his pleasing scent, starkly filtering through the pungent smell of blood.

When she gazed into his face she met the color of unearthly gold. She gasped and smiled, finally happy she wasn’t going to die alone.

Suddenly Natsumi woke up, sitting straight up in bed, and after a flickering memory of his face, she remembered.

She remembered _everything_. Once, a long time ago, her name had been Kagura, and her unnatural life, her unfulfilled love, had all been doomed.


	2. Man on the Street

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This new serial was started to follow the themes for contests at Livejournal. This is the second installment, written for the "glow" theme at iy_themes.

It was raining that day, and Natsumi had to take two buses just to get to work. She slept horribly last night, and as usual, it was because of her dreams.

 _What do they even mean?_ she asked herself. She didn’t spurn them; they were the most exciting things happening in her life. Crazy dreams of another woman, someone she didn’t know, and not really a woman, a demon woman who was _her_. Or at least, the dreams of a past life, and they didn’t really feel like dreams, more like memories that were clearly hers. 

But they weren’t.

The last bus she took to work jarred to a stop, and the person next to her pressed against her shoulder. They mumbled an apology and quickly departed, and Natsumi sighed and followed the rolling crowd out of the bus and onto the rain-soaked streets. She picked up a stray newspaper on the seat and held it over her head. She looked up at the sky mournfully and sighed, heading toward the factory where she worked a few blocks down.

Several people brushed against her as they hurried down the streets, even more so through the rain. Natsumi frowned with annoyance, wishing that people would lay off her, at least for the morning, and when a cold breeze filtered through her hair, she felt a sense of relaxation. She turned to her left and saw people retreating slightly away from her. Well then, she was grateful for whatever angel had listened to her.

Then, he came. He was striking, holding an umbrella that hid his face and towering over her as he charged by. He clipped the edge of her shoulder, and Natsumi wobbled, forgetting her awe of him and turning around to glare at his rudeness. When she did, he hurried on without a care. She stopped, her mouth gaping at the color of his hair, neatly drawn back into a silver ponytail. Natsumi had never seen hair that color before. 

She froze momentarily as the man unexpectedly turned around, catching her gaze. Natsumi felt a strange sensation in her chest - a pinch, or as if someone was ringing out ice water from the walls of her heart. She stared at his eyes, and they shimmered with a glow. 

Natsumi blinked, and the man was already gone, disappearing down the streets through the amorphous sea of people. She felt her feet draw toward him like magnets, and she knew in her gut that glowing golden eyes were not normal. She wished more than anything that she could find him again and confirm that she wasn’t going crazy, that there was something strange about him.

A crack of thunder startled her out of her daydream, and Natsumi fell into the rushed pace of people heading down the block away from the impending storm. The winds picked up, and Natsumi practically felt them carry her ahead, pulling her farther away from the man on the street that she wouldn’t dare forget.


	3. New Management

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This new serial was started to follow the themes for contests at Livejournal. This is the third installment, written for the "red" theme at iy_themes. Winner first place.

Natsumi punched her time card and went to her station. Like every day, she worked on punching rivets and buttons into knock-off designer bags manufactured in a local factory. Then, they would sell them in various kiosks all over many districts of Japan.

Today, her company was changing owners. Natsumi hadn’t heard much about the new owner of the company, and she didn’t think much of it because she was a lower rung employee in the factory. She sat at her station and heard her co-workers mumble about it, but it was all chatter to her. She’d rather just get back to work.

Ayako-san was settling down to her own station next to her, and she turned to Natsumi with concern. “Hey, Natsumi-san, you don’t look so well.”

Natsumi sighed, shaking the rain off her jacket and draping over the pegs by their station. She gave Ayako a weak smile. “Bad storm.”

Ayako nodded, opening her mouth to say something else until the hiring manager came through the door and ordered their attention. 

“It’s the new boss!” Ayako whispered, and Natsumi’s gaze circled around the room at everyone’s curious attention. She paused when she saw a tall man with unworldly pale skin and long dark ponytail briefly meet her eyes. He seemed familiar to her, like someone famous or a rich businessman on the cover of a magazine.

He opened his mouth to speak to them, but after that, Natsumi felt a strange headache in her eye and then fell into a trance, unable to really process a word he was saying. He spoke his greeting to the factory employees, hoping for their best efforts and promising to change very little in how the company operated. After he bowed, the headache in Natsumi’s eye subsided, and she released a sigh and blinked. The new manager was gone and everyone had gone back to their duties.

She felt a tap on her shoulder, taking her out of her daze. “Natsumi, are you sure you’re alright?” asked Ayako, concerned. Natsumi turned her head to coworker slowly, confused. She felt something wet fall onto her fingers in her lap. She sniffled as she drew her hand up to her eyes. 

Fresh, red blood dribbled over her fingers, but curiously enough, she hadn’t felt any pain - just a numbing ache in her head and a strange hitch in her chest.


	4. The Beckoning Wind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This new serial was started to follow the themes for contests at Livejournal. This is the fourth installment, written for the "tease" theme at iy_themes.

For centuries the wind had whispered to him, teased him, but more than anything it'd become a constant comfort as he wandered through time alone, never really belonging in the human eras, and trying desperately to be unnoticed.

He sighed a little and huffed. His kind had learned over the years to disguise themselves, himself included, though there weren’t many like him in existence anymore, and he’d come to learn that humans only paid attention to the things they wanted to see.

 _Soon, they will not even see you,_ he thought to himself. He had become victim to the same disease the rest of his species was fighting. The wind that followed him, the spirit that circled around him since she died, had known it too, and she was calling him and leading him here.

So when he’d heard Natsumi-san had collapsed at her work station, he stopped everything and came straight away.

“You’re her employer, correct? It’s kind of you to check on her, sir.” The nurse spoke and bowed when she noticed his presence. 

“How is she?” 

“She’s just weak.” The nurse turned back to the sleeping figure on the bed. “I think she hasn’t been sleeping well.”

“Let her rest for as long as she needs,” he said. The nurse bowed again and turned away, and he took another look at the woman asleep in the hospital bed.

His brow furrowed, and Sesshoumaru released a sigh when he noticed a pained expression on the troubled woman’s face.


	5. Fading Matriarch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the fifth installment, written for the "mist" theme at iy_themes.

As soon as he left Natsumi to rest in the hospital, Sesshoumaru heard the call. He felt a sting in his chest, and he almost had to lean against the wall for a support the force was so strong. He left quickly then, feeling the pull of the distress, and he wandered to an alley behind the hospital, unseen, and began to shift into the spirit world where no human would witness his true form.

He glided into the sky, and when he found her castle at the end of the distress, he came back into his humanoid form and approached her. His mother was resting in her throne. She looked tired; the youkai disease was already eating away at her. Sesshoumaru could see parts of her body, misty and transparent. The end result was clear; very soon she would appear to not exist.

And some day that would happen to him.

He knelt before her and put his hand over hers. She smiled weakly, but he still saw fang, which only meant his mother would not go without fighting.

“You feel that, Sesshoumaru? It’s the pull of Hell. Soon, as the humans forget us, we will all go there, into the dark mist where other beasts dwell,” she said, barely above a whisper, but her words rang hollow, like an ominous prophecy. “How unrefined. To be pulled into the pit with the mongrels.”

“Do you feel any pain, Mother?” he asked, and she shook her head. 

“It is not how pain should feel, my son,” she said, and she tilted her head, studying him. “You...you appear to have purpose. As I recall, you were running away from this as much as I am. Now, it seems you’re trying to live for something.”

Sesshoumaru stared at a spot on her marble floor, thinking and only finding Natsumi’s face in his thoughts. The air seemed damp and wistful around him.

“I found her, after all this time; I found Kagura,” he said, looking up from the ground and meeting her introspective eyes. She smiled lightly.

“I’m glad...you have something to look forward to at least.” She leaned back and closed her eyes, resting her head against the soft cushion of her throne. “Me,” she said chuckling. “Well, it’s too late for me. My time has come.”

Sesshoumaru squeezed her hand, and he stayed with her until her final seconds.


	6. Cautious Instincts

When the doctor spoke to her, Natsumi felt like she was in a daze. She nodded automatically as he reminded her to take better care of herself, to get more sleep and eat a healthy diet. Finally, she sighed in relief as he gave her medication and sent her home.

As she was gathering her things, the nurse informed her that her employer had stopped by for a visit. Natsumi, of course, was shocked that it was even true. The nurse had no reason to lie, but she found herself skeptical at the news that he’d allow her to take off work as long as she liked so she could recover.

Knowing she could skip work the next day was tempting, but it made her nervous and unsure, and Natsumi planned to return to her duties anyway after a good night’s sleep.

Though, sleep seemed to elude her that night. She would have even welcomed the terrible dreams about the strange woman’s life, but Natsumi’s mind was restless, and she had this nagging feeling there was more to her employer visiting her and being so generous.

Natsumi shifted restlessly in bed, finally settling on her back and staring up at her ceiling. She bit her lip and became determined.

Tomorrow she would go into work and seek out her employer and meet him face to face. She’d find out why he visited her in the hospital; if her instincts were correct, Natsumi would see if a connection was truly there.


	7. Serendipity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This new serial was started to follow the themes for contests at Livejournal. This is the seventh installment, written for the Wacdonald's image prompt at i_b_4_y.

Her friend and coworker Ayako was surprised to see Natsumi at work the next day. She gaped at her when Natsumi came to her station and hung up her coat, and she could barely form a sentence she was so stunned.

“What is it?” Natsumi asked.

“I just didn’t think you’d make it back. The factory manager said you’d be out for at least a week for health reasons,” she said, and Natsumi waved her hand.

“I’m fine. I just have had trouble sleeping lately. I’m on medicine to regain my strength,” she answered, but Ayako looked unsure. Natsumi forced a smile. “I’m fine.”

Natsumi didn’t really want to deal with this today, not when she was so focused to find their new manager who apparently was letting her take off time for her health. Why he would single her out, she didn’t know but she’d find out. She glanced around and saw people stealing looks at her. How far did this gossip run? Natsumi harrumphed and went back to her work.

“Well, I’m glad you’re better, Natsumi-san, but since you collapsed the new manager has instilled new rules,” Ayako said, gaining her attention.

“Oh?”

“Yeah, he’s afraid we’re working too hard, and he’s issued fifteen minute breaks before and after lunch. He’s really turning out to be a good manager, and he seems to care about people who work here.”

 _Except that he doesn’t. He only cares about me_ , Natsumi thought, and she doubted the new manager would even have noticed the others if she hadn’t collapsed. Sure, she may have been presumptuous about her new manager’s motives, but she was certain he was singling her out for some reason, and she couldn’t wait to find out why.

 _And because of that, the dreams have gotten more vivid - the same dream over and over again of me dying in a bed of flowers_ , she thought.

“Hey, are you really sure you’re okay to work today? You’re spacing out again,” Ayako-san said, starting to fret. “I don’t know what I’ll do if you pass out again.”

Natsumi sighed. She stood up from her seat and met Ayako’s eyes. “Maybe you’re right. I should go see the nurse.”

“You should just go home,” Ayako stressed, and Natsumi paused after her thought, and nodded once.

It was a good excuse. She’d clock out, and the evidence that she attempted to work would be there. Then, instead of heading home she’d ride the lift to the corporate offices upstairs to finally meet her manager, and thank him of course, but her ultimate goal would be to find out what he wanted with her.

“I’m taking off,” she said, and bowed lightly to Ayako, who did the same. Natsumi could feel Ayako’s worried stare on her back as she left into the halls.

\----

Surprising her new boss in his office ended up being futile. Natsumi was saddened and almost angry when he wasn’t there when she inquired from his secretary, and she didn’t appreciate the wrinkle in her plans to get to the bottom of this, let alone his secretary’s rudeness and snide tone.

Annoyed, she left the corporate offices quickly as people stared at her, and under their scrutiny Natsumi started to feel inferior, like she didn’t belong there at all. She was just a factory worker, and she felt like she was judged for having the audacity to even know the boss, let alone try to contact him.

She fumed as she rode the elevator back down to the lobby of her workplace, and she started to blame her manager for making her feel this way. After all, he was the one that showed interest in her, and there was no way in hell she was going to believe he’d be nice enough to her as anyone else.

“I don’t even know him, and I’m already making him out to be the villain,” she whispered to herself. Defeated, she left the building and headed down the streets of Tokyo. She felt her stomach rumble, and for once she let go of her thoughts about her dreams and her manager and decided to get a bite to eat. Stopping, she looked at the brightly colored WacDonald’s sign and reveled in the smell of American fries in the air.

This was probably not the diet her doctor wanted her to have, but she thought she’d indulge for once. Considering how terrible she felt, both emotionally and physically, the delicious fatty foods might even soothe her for the moment.

She got in line, surprised that it was so busy on that afternoon where people should be working, and she realized that most people were getting an early lunch break, and she was caught in the middle of it. Irritated she’d have to wait, she tapped her feet and looked around at the people in the restaurant, idly saddened there wasn’t a handsome face in the bunch.

Then, she felt it - that horrible pinch in her gut and ice pick in her eye. She rubbed her forehead and took a deep breath, trying to compose herself.

“Minora Natsumi-san,” said a deep masculine voice behind her, and she froze, cautiously turning around.

“Y--yes?” She looked up; the man who called her was tall, and the closer he came to her, the worse the aches in her stomach and head became. She met his eyes, and they glittered gold before she realized they were merely a light hazel. She saw his long dark hair pulled back, and for a second, mind tricked her and perceived it was silver, not black.

“My apologies,” he said bowing. “I am Sesshoumaru Taiki, your new employer.” Her eyes widened and words failed her.

 _What a strange surname_ , she thought, but his hard stare brought her out of her daze quickly. If she didn’t say something soon he’d think she was rude.

“Ah, ah, oh!” She bowed low. “I’m sorry, sir. I did not recognize you.” She couldn’t help her rising elation; she’d spent the morning looking for him, getting snubbed by his secretary, and here he was. But why did she feel so sick in his presence?

“No, no, it is understandable,” he said. “You were ill during my introduction.”

When they came up first in line, Natsumi hesitated and the server looked annoyed. “Um, just a meal number four, please.”

“I have this,” he said, pulling out his wallet.

“Oh, no, sir!” she panicked, but he acted as if he did not hear her. He ordered something small and then paid for her meal. Blushing, she followed him wordlessly as he took their tray and found them a table in the corner.

Natsumi was so shocked by his appearance and generosity that she could barely feel the pains in her head and stomach anymore.

“My secretary informed me that you were looking for me,” he said, sipping his tea.

“Yes, sir, I am sorry to so rudely barge into your office, but I just had to see you,” Natsumi said, still blushing and staring at her food, unable to bring herself to meet his eyes.

“Well, you have my attention Minora-san,” he said simply.

“I wanted to thank you,” she said, and she finally braved to look up, meeting his gaze. Then, as if her words were not her own, her tone turned fierce. “And I just had to find out why you are so interested in me.”

Her lips tightened, but he said nothing. He stared at her, intrigued. He took another sip of his tea and sighed heavily.

“I wonder,” he said, his tone distant. “I wondered if you were really her, and I had my doubts, but you surprise me, Minora-san. You _are_ her after all.”

“Her?” The blood in her body suddenly felt cold. A flash of her dream screeched in her mind.

Unexpectedly, he handed her a napkin. “I’m afraid so,” he said worriedly. Natsumi looked down at her hands, splattered with a few drops of blood from her nose.

She had proven the connection between them, but at what cost? Why did this man affect her like this?


	8. Causation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This new serial was started to follow the themes for contests at Livejournal. This is the eighth installment, written for the "interrelated" theme at i_b_4_y.

As he stared at her, Natsumi felt short of breath, and she realized that this was all too much for her to handle. The pain in her chest seemed to feel worse, and despite his napkin stopping the flow of blood from her nose, she felt like she could bleed out forever, like the memories in her mind.

 _Memories of her_ , she thought, but she was not _her_ , and she hated that somehow her new employer knew all of this, knew they were interrelated somehow, and that all of this tied back to the memories of the strange woman’s death.

His brow rose when she quickly stood up from her chair, its legs screeching against the floor.

“I’m sorry; I have to go,” she choked out, and he looked more concerned than ever. Her hand began to shake as she held the napkin under her nose.

 _Pain, too much pain_ , she thought, and it only got worse the more she stayed in his presence. He reached out his hand to touch her, and when his cool fingers rested on her forearm, the pain seemed to sunburst in her brain.

“Please!” It couldn’t be; was he the sole reason she was in agony?

“Minora-san...” he started, but she turned away. She was out of his reach when Sesshoumaru called her name again, and her mind began to shift into a lull.

 _No! I will not pass out! Not again..._ Natsumi thought, and she refused to be affected by whatever this sickness was. He called her name again, and she whipped around and raged at him, tears flowing from her eyes.

“Just leave me alone!” she cried, and she ran as fast as she could out of the restaurant.

The further she went, she realized with relief, the more the pain subsided.


	9. The Other Voice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the ninth installment, written for the "telephone image prompt" theme at i_b_4_y on Livejournal.

Natsumi did as her boss suggested. She took some time off from work; moreover, she took the time to stay away from _him_. There was no doubt in her mind that he was the cause of her pain, and though a voice in the back of her mind reassured her that he was _not_ , she decided to put a muzzle on her conscience and get some rest.

Consequently, she was afraid to sleep. She didn’t want to have the dreams, and she certainly didn’t want to relive her past life’s death over and over again.

She knew she would; there was no denying it. Even in times when she would fall into a daze she’d see it; she’d feel it, and then her chest would explode with a hollow ache, and she’d feel wet, seeping blood where there was none.

Though, she couldn’t possibly sleep anyway. She’d watch silly variety shows on TV, and before she could even doze off the phone would ring, and as always, she debated with herself on whether or not she should answer it.

Natsumi thought for sure it was Sesshoumaru-san again, and she was mortified at the possibility of hearing his voice. She even considered getting another job. Factory work wasn’t her career, so she easily could find something else.

 _But I don’t want to leave_ , she thought petulantly, frowning. _He’s the one that should leave. He invaded my life and caused me pain. He should be the one to go away!_

Thinking about him made her angry; so much she almost hated him, and she didn’t even know him. Of course, he didn’t deserve her hatred, but he did cause her fear, and Natsumi wasn’t about to resolve herself to this fear toward her new boss, much less a man she didn’t know.

 _Even creepier is that he knows me_ , she thought, and for some time she had been denying herself the opportunity to think about that. He clearly knew about her dreams too, saying she was _her_. There was no mistake, not the way Natsumi reacted horribly to his presence.

Her new employer Sesshoumaru Taiki had something to do with her past life’s death.

 _Impossible..._ she thought, but suddenly the images came back again, fresh in her mind. She always smelled blood, but at least this time there was no pain - just a strange lull and the feeling of heartbreak.

How could a modern businessman like Sesshoumaru have ties to her past life? In her visions, Natsumi is certain the woman Kagura, who isn’t a human at all, died a long time ago.

“Feudal times,” she mumbled, and she froze when she realized the thought was not her own. The feeling that she wasn’t alone in her own body wasn’t subsiding either.

Sounding ominous and from beyond the grave, Kagura’s voice whispered like a winter’s breeze across her skull, and she urged Natsumi to travel to the library to find out more about her past life - and Sesshoumaru as well.


	10. An Old Acquaintance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the tenth installment, written for the "it's funny how the seemingly quiet, are the ones to be most wary of" theme at i_b_4_y.

Sesshoumaru could only think of one individual still alive that could help him with his problem; however, visiting the old and spry Totosai always put him on edge. Yet Sesshoumaru knew this time that he had no choice.

Everyone else was dying out. Myoga, Ah and Un, his mother, and even his faithful servant Jaken had become victims to the supernatural plague that was claiming the corporeal lives of youkai. If there were other acquaintances still alive and around, he did not know.

At least, Totosai’s advice on Natsumi would be beneficial - or so he hoped.

A bell sang as Sesshoumaru entered the sword-smith's antique shop, and the smell almost sent him on his knees. _Some things never change_ , he thought.

It took a good five minutes of wandering in circles at the shop before Totosai appeared. The old youkai was quieter in his centennial years, but despite his cowardice, he was still no one to be trifled with - at least, not if you were a human (of course, Sesshoumaru never would fear him, but it was just comforting to know other powerful youkai were still around). _Looks are deceiving_ , Sesshoumaru thought, but he supposed on some level he did respect him.

“Ah, the ungrateful son,” he said, coming through ornate blue and gold curtains from the back. He was an obvious anachronism, wearing the same clothes as he had hundreds of years ago. (Sesshoumaru guessed that it was a perfect explanation for the smell.) 

“You are still alive I see,” Totosai said, though Sesshoumaru couldn’t detect if he sounded astounded or relieved.

Sesshoumaru watched him coolly. “Totosai, I need your assistance,” he said, and he hoped Totosai sensed none of his immediate desperation.

“You know carrying swords is illegal now?” intoned the youkai amused, and Sesshoumaru frowned, feeling his usual pang of exasperation when dealing with him.

“It is about a demon’s reincarnation,” he said, getting to the point. He watched as Totosai blew out a heavy breath. He seemed intrigued, and Sesshoumaru didn’t know if that was a good thing or not.

“Well, that is tricky,” Totosai said, tapping his chin. “I take it this is not about Rin then.”

Sesshoumaru did indeed keep watch over many of Rin’s incarnations, but many of them tended to be boring and never able to replace his beloved ward. He shook his head once.

“It concerns Kagura,” he said, and Totosai looked slightly more interested, if that was possible.

“Ah, yes,” he said. “I didn’t think you would care.”

“Her spirit has been following me around for many years. Now it has finally reincarnated,” Sesshoumaru explained. “But things are not going well.”

Totosai rested his elbows on the glass case of his store and met Sesshoumaru’s eyes with a contemplative stare. “No, I imagine not.”

“You must tell me everything you know,” Sesshoumaru demanded, and Totosai exhaled heavily again.

“First,” he said, pointing a finger at him, and Sesshoumaru dreaded his reply, “You must help me with some chores.”


	11. Contemplation in Moonlight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the eleventh installment, written for the "moonstruck" theme at i_b_4_y.

Sesshoumaru wiped the sweat off his brow and noticed the bright white moonlight coming through Totosai’s shop. He had come that morning inquiring for advice from the old man, only to remain all day helping him clean his shop – and himself.

Sesshoumaru shuddered from the memories. Of course, there was a time that Totosai had used his elderly condition to persuade either him or his brother to do anything for him, like helping him take a bath, but lately Sesshoumaru wasn’t so sure anymore. 

Totosai was vague whenever he was ask if he had the disease that all modern youkai were getting, which angered Sesshoumaru of course, but it also worried him that Totosai was hiding the gravity of his condition, if he had the disease at all. 

Intrigued by the moonlight, Sesshoumaru couldn’t help think of his late mother, and if her youkai bones were taken to Hell, she could come back in another life, if her soul deserved it.

Reincarnation. It was possible, of course. Natsumi was proof enough that youkai spirits that passed on could reincarnate into humans someday. Now, if only Totosai would offer him more evidence that others had come back as well, Sesshoumaru could understand Natsumi’s condition a little better, and if her strong reactions to his presence were because of Kagura’s unrest.

“It could happen,” Totosai said, as if he heard Sesshoumaru’s thoughts. “Kagura could have come back.”

Sesshoumaru grunted, turning away and going back to his final chores. He tried to focus, but he could not tear his thoughts away from Kagura and Natsumi.

“So you know of other youkai that were reincarnated?”

Totosai met his eyes with amusement. Sesshoumaru could read him well _this time_ , and the old master’s tongue obviously held more stories that he was very interested in hearing.


	12. Ascension

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the twelfth installment, written for the "Sessmom picture" theme at i_b_4_y.

Sesshoumaru watched wordlessly as the old sword-smith made himself comfortable. He switched the “closed” sign on his front door, and he motioned Sesshoumaru to follow him into the back, where the two of them settled onto a couple soft couches.

Totosai blew out a heavy breath and met Sesshoumaru’s eyes once before staring into space.

“Now that you mention it, the last person to ask me about youkai reincarnation was your mother, the Great Lady,” he spoke, his lips turning into a frown. “She did not appreciate my answer.”

“Well? What was it then? Is it unlikely?” Sesshoumaru asked impatiently. He was becoming tired with Totosai’s old games. The old man was stubborn and liked to stall things out, probably out of personal amusement.

“It’s not unlikely, but it’s rare,” he said pointedly. “Something...very important has to summon them back. Unfinished business, karma, that sort of thing.” Totosai sighed again. “I told your mother it was impossible for your father to come back as a human. One, he was much too powerful, and two...well, he was a natural youkai, born from a natural union of other more powerful oni. He was too ascended to fall back into the reincarnation cycle.”

“So you are saying...they are as gods now, and reincarnating into humans is impossible for them?” Sesshoumaru mused, and Totosai nodded.

“But Kagura’s case is different. She is not an ascended spirit, and she was born out of the most unnatural way. Her place in the wheel is low enough to come back again, to live out as a human and have a better life,” Totosai said. “And from what I hear, she redeemed herself at her death, making it much more possible for her to return.”

Sesshoumaru understood well enough, but he still had unanswered questions.


	13. A Little Help

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the 13th installment, written for the "sunshine picture" theme at i_b_4_y.

Natsumi was a little overwhelmed. Not only did she have a lot of libraries to choose from in the city, but also she was feeling more trepidation of what would happen to her once she found out the truth.

Since she’d had these visions - as well as Sesshoumaru-san showing up in her life, she’d been feeling much worse, with migraine headaches, nightmares, and bloodstains on her pillow almost every morning. What would be her fate once she learned the truth? She wondered if there was a chance of reprieve from all this, but her intuition told her that things would only get worse.

The best idea she could come up with was to leave town, go back home to Hokkaido and visit her family.

Natsumi didn’t want to do that. She didn’t have to change her life because someone else was making her miserable. She may be a quiet, introverted person, but she was by no means weak. She’d stand up to whatever evil was inside of her, and she’d defeat it.

Feeling the warmth of the sun, Natsumi looked to the sky, hoping this beautiful day on the steps of Tokyo University would be a beacon of hope. She inhaled a heavy breath, and she made her way through the large doors of the campus library.

Already overwhelmed, Natsumi stepped forward and gazed around at the virtually unending shelves of books. As expected, it was filled with students, and Natsumi’s only choice was to seek help at the main desk.

“Can I help you?” Apparently, a librarian already noticed she was lost. She turned to the voice, and she stepped back, a little surprised by the outrageous appearance of the student. She didn’t think black hair could dye that brightly orange, and though he could be of mixed blood, his face told her he was most certainly Japanese. She noticed he also seemed to have altered his eyes to a brilliant green.

“Um...yes, I’m working on some...genealogy of my family. I need to see your section with historical records on the Feudal Era,” she spoke, and his eyes seemed to brighten at her words.

“Ooh, that’s my favorite era!” he said. “Here, let me help you.” He motioned her to the left, and her took her to a dusty old section in the back.

“Well, depending upon what you need, it’s all here. There’s a computer catalogue at the side if you need more specifics,” he said. “Call me if you need me.”

“Uh...What’s your name?” she asked, and by the shelves and shelves of books, she knew she’d need some kind of help eventually.

“Kinjo Shippou-san,” he said with a grin. “You can call me Shippou though. I don’t mind the informality.” He winked at her, and she nodded as if in a daze, still bemused on how she was going to start her research. When she looked back up for him, he was gone, as if he’d disappeared into a cloud of smoke.


	14. Another Connection

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the 14th installment, written for the "The future is not something we enter. The future is something we create" prompt at i_b_4_y.

Natsumi stared blinking at the stacks of books in front of her. She’d been poring over tons of Japanese historical records and manuscripts for the latter half of her day, and her eyes were starting to feel tired. She looked up from her books, glanced around the library, and her gaze fell idly onto a framed picture on the wall.

“The future is not something we enter. The future is something we create,” it read, and Natsumi furrowed her brow and sighed heavily.

 _Not my future_ , she thought, feeling a chill crawl over her spine. No matter what she did in her life, things always seemed to return to her dreams of a past life. If she wasn’t mistaken, her future was on hold, and she couldn’t even go to work properly without this youkai woman’s past catching up with her, consuming her and even causing her to get ill at the sight of a strange man, who was just as tied to this Kagura woman as she was.

She hated that her quest into the youkai woman Kagura’s past was going nowhere, and she wondered just how obscure her past life really was when none of these books even mentioned her. It must have some meaning for it to garner the attention of Sesshoumaru Taiki, even someone so odd as to act as though he was there - despite her knowing that to be impossible.

Was he an ancestor of Kagura’s? How was he really involved in this?

To find out more meant interacting with him, which also meant Natsumi would be in crippling pain once again. No, she couldn’t do it. Even as she slaved over these books, she still felt better and healthier than she had in the last few days.

Feeling her throat parched, she grabbed her purse and left the table to find the nearest water fountain. When she returned, she froze, feeling startled when a new book that she hadn’t read appeared on top of her stack. She turned around, made a sweeping glance of the area, only to see nothing but the rays of dust glinting in the sunlight through the window.

 _Well that’s interesting_ , she thought, and she cautiously sat down and picked up the book, noticing the appropriate title: Youkai of the Feudal Era and Beyond. Her eyes widened when she noticed the author of the book.

Sesshoumaru Taiki! How could this even be possible? She just couldn’t get away from him, could she?

Her eyes narrowed. She felt like she was being duped by some grandiose scheme, but since the book was already here, waiting for her, she braved looking inside. Intrigue consumed her, and she immediately found the publication date of the book.

“I can’t be!” she whispered in disbelief. The first date of publication of this book was 1924, with several re-printings after that.

 _What is going on?_ she thought, and she turned around, sensing movement beside her as she barely missed a shadow disappearing into the stacks.


	15. No Coincidence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the 15th installment, written for the "Ahem" prompt at i_b_4_y.

Natsumi had to admit that Sesshoumaru Taiki’s book on Japanese youkai was interesting. Not only that, it read like a guidebook rather than a book of myths, as if youkai were actually real.

 _Well, at least I’m certain they’re real, thanks to my past life,_ she thought. She used to believe Kagura had been nothing but a dream, but now, she realized the truth.

Engrossed half-way through the book, Natsumi heard a light noise behind her in the stacks. Furrowing her brow, she rose quietly from her table and started weaving through the shelves. Upon a ladder, the flashy library aide that helped her earlier was returning books onto the shelves.

Arching an eyebrow, she found it just a little suspicious that he was still hanging around her. It might have been a coincidence, but since she met Sesshoumaru, she didn’t believe in them.

“Ahem,” she said, trying to get his attention. Startled, the poor guy almost dropped the stack of heavy books he was balancing against his chest. His face flashed with momentary annoyance before giving her a smile as bright as his red hair.

“Yes?”

“Ah, Shippou-san, I was wondering...did you give me this book?” She held up Sesshoumaru’s book, and his eyes fell on the cover.

“Oh, yes. I found it in the returns, and I thought it’d be helpful. Was it?” he inquired grinning.

“Uh, I wasn’t expecting such a book. You see, I’m looking for books on genealogy; this is a mythological guide for youkai,” she said bluntly, eying his reaction intently.

“Oh,” he replied with a frown. “So I was wrong. I’m sorry; I’ll put that back for you,” he said, climbing down from the ladder. He reached out his hand.

“Well, actually, it’s perfect,” she said, pulling the book against her chest. “But it’s odd; I wonder how you knew about how perfect it would be, despite it having very little to do with my original request.”

“I seem to have a knack for such things,” he boasted with a confident smirk.

“Yes,” she said, still peering at him intently. Shippou seemed immune to her hard stare, so she started pacing around him like a predator with its prey. “I wonder how good you are. You see this author?”

He didn’t even need to look. He nodded and met her eyes. “I know of him. Excellent with details, but a little pompous in his tone. Sometimes he can be dreadfully boring, and other times, his writing reads like a lost memory.”

Natsumi’s lip curled in a slight smile. “I’m sure you have no idea.”

“I’m sure I do, ma’am” he said, meeting the challenge in her tone.

“Did he write any more books?” she asked, and Shippou’s face burst with delight.

“Oh, lots,” he said, crossing his arms. “I assume you want those books as well?”

She nodded fiercely. “Please,” she said, and she flushed when he grabbed her hand and pulled her along.

“Well, then,” he said invigorated. “Let’s get started!”


	16. Correspondence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the 15th installment, written for the "train picture" prompt at i_b_4_y.

Sesshoumaru was waiting in traffic for a train to pass by when he got a phone call. Looking at the caller ID, he sighed heavily with slight anticipation. He was somewhat expecting this call, but he didn’t think it’d be this soon. Perhaps in all honesty, the timing was a good thing.

“Yes, what can I do for you, Shippou?” he answered, his eyes staring at the train as it sped by.

“Hey, you old bastard, can’t talk long but I thought you’d like to know that she’s here, and I’m helping her whether you want me to or not,” he told him.

“There is no reason for antagonism. If you can help her, it would be a burden off my shoulders. I cannot get within meters of the woman without causing her unknown harm. Please call back if you find out anything,” Sesshoumaru said, and after Shippou rudely insulted his character, he ended their phone connection and exhaled, relieved the train had rolled by.

“Sorry about that Natsumi!” Shippou called, clicking off his mobile. He returned to her table with a smile on his face. “Had to make an urgent phone call. Now, tell me what you’d like to know about youkai,” he said, resuming their conversation. “Some would say I’m sort of an expert.”

She frowned slightly but her eyes looked hopeful. Shippou couldn’t believe how unalike Kagura this woman was. However, as he got to know her, maybe that would change.

“I’m looking for a particular youkai, Shippou-san,” she told him bluntly and continued, “But I don’t think it’s going to be easy.” She looked mournfully at a stack of books, opening them idly and flipping through pages. She met his eyes again with desperation.

“I need to find out everything available on a youkai called Kagura.”


	17. Shippou's Knowledge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the 17th installment, written for the "knowledge" prompt at i_b_4_y.

As Natsumi flipped through the pages of a large, dusty old book, Shippou stared at her with intrigue from across the library table. On a propped elbow, he rested his cheek against his palm. He grinned at her, and Natsumi could feel his deep emerald eyes boring into her.

Annoyed, she looked up from her book. “I thought you were going to help me, not stare at me.”

“I told you. None of those books will do. You’re wasting your time. Only one book will do,” he said, pointing at Sesshoumaru Taiki’s book. “That one is the only one you’ll need.”

Natsumi tilted her head. “I flipped through that one. There’s nothing in there about Kagura.”

“Look again,” he said, barely containing his amusement. Natsumi assumed that Shippou knew a lot, probably enough about Kagura to give her some leads, but he was purposely withholding it from her. But why? Was it just a game to him? She wondered what his connection really was.

Natsumi slammed the book shut. She set it aside on the pile of discards, grabbed Sesshoumaru’s book and shot Shippou a piercing stare. She waved the book in his face.

“You know Sesshoumaru personally, don’t you?” 

Shippou smirked, and Natsumi sighed. “I thought so.”

“I was right though. His knowledge on the subject is incredible, so I’m wondering why he hadn’t given you the book before.” He chuckled a little when she furrowed her brow at him. “Don’t play dumb. You know him personally too.”

“I can’t…I can’t be around him. I don’t know how to say this but…” She hesitated. How much should she tell this Shippou person? She only just met him, and she was going to tell him her personal feelings and dreams? She was going to tell him she thought she was the reincarnation of a powerful youkai who tragically died hundreds of years ago?

If he already knew Sesshoumaru then he probably knew about her too.

She eyed him suspiciously. “What do you know about me, Shippou?”

“I only just met you,” he said simply.

“True, but even after I walked into this library, I had a feeling you already knew more just by my request,” Natsumi said. She crossed her arms and looked at him reproachfully. “Tell me what you know.”

“Everything?” he asked coyly with a snort. 

“Just about me, and Sesshoumaru too. It’s a start anyway,” she said.

“Well, what I know about you is quite simple,” he said. “You’re the reincarnation of a powerful youkai named Kagura.”

Natsumi released a heavy breath. “So, you’ve studied her?”

“Something like that,” he said cryptically, and Natsumi didn’t like that he was still keeping things from her. “As for Sesshoumaru, my knowledge of him could fill up volumes, a notion he has threatened me frequently not to pursue.” He grinned wickedly. “Well, what he doesn’t know…”

“And what about you… Who are you, Shippou?” Natsumi asked.

Shippou shrugged, and Natsumi met his wild grin. “Well, that’s another story altogether, isn’t it?”


	18. Bits and Pieces

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the 18th installment, written for the "TMI" prompt at i_b_4_y

Natsumi threw up her hands in frustration. Shippou wasn’t being any more forthright with information on himself than the first minute she’d met him.

“Okay, forget about you,” Natsumi said, meeting his cheerful gaze. It was hopeless to pry any more personal information about the young man, even if she did suspect he knew more about Kagura than he was letting on, even more about Sesshoumaru. 

Natsumi held up Sesshoumaru Taiki’s book and waved it at him. “What do you know about Sesshoumaru? And why…” She paused, not knowing how to say this, but she had to go with her gut instinct here, even if Shippou considered her crazy. She had a feeling he wouldn’t. “Why does Sesshoumaru act like he knew Kagura? That can’t be possible. In my dreams… well, it was hundreds of years ago.”

Shippou reclined back in the library chair, propping his feet up on the table. Natsumi wasn’t sure if his superiors allowed him to do that, but she didn’t think about it anymore when he started giving her answers.

“Well, Kagura was a youkai that existed hundreds of years ago, yes,” Shippou said, choosing his words carefully. “How much do you know about youkai?” Natsumi shook her head. “You would assume they lived a long time.”

“Assuming they are still real,” Natsumi said stubbornly. 

“Trust me, youkai are still as real as you and me,” Shippou said. “There’s your answer about Sesshoumaru.”

Natsumi exhaled heavily. She had to sit down. So… Sesshoumaru, her boss, was a youkai? It was almost _too much_ information.

“Well, that explains a lot about him,” Natsumi resolved. “It could be why I feel something strong from him.” Natsumi cocked her head at Shippou. “Hey, is this why I can’t be near him?”

“Sorry, what?” Shippou asked, and for the first time since she’d met him, Shippou actually looked confused. 

“I… I can’t get near Sesshoumaru. He’s tried to approach me, and the closer I get to him, I get headaches and bad nose bleeds. My first encounter with him sent me to the hospital,” Natsumi said, and Shippou furrowed his brow, looking worried.

“I’ve never seen that before, not of reincarnations anyway,” Shippou said.

“Ha! So admit it; you do believe I am her reincarnation!” Natsumi said, and Shippou grinned.

“I’d think that’s obvious by now.” He sighed. “But I really can’t help you on why Sesshoumaru affects you physically. I think he’s the only one who can answer that, and it seems to put you in sort of a bind.”

“Well, at least tell me what you know about Kagura.” Natsumi leafed through the book again. “There’s only a small snippet in here. She was a youkai created from Naraku who turned good at the end at the cost of her life. But that’s it. It’s pretty generic.”

“I assume Sesshoumaru wrote it that way without all the feelings in it,” Shippou said, and Natsumi snapped her eyes back to his as realization hit her.

“Does that mean… did Sesshoumaru love Kagura?”


	19. The Right Question

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the 19th installment, written for the "The more charming person is the person who admits the other person is more charming. - Benedict Cumberbatch" prompt at ib4y20.

“Well,” Natsumi asked. She was waiting for an answer and Shippou only stared at her with an odious grin. “Did Sesshoumaru love her - my reincarnation, I mean?”

“That’s not the right question,” Shippou said, still sounding mysterious. 

Natusmi sighed in frustration, throwing up her hands. She tried to be quiet in the library, but she was losing patience. Shippou was not an easy person to get information from; she could tell he found it amusing, like a game, to put her on edge and challenge her to research her own information.

“Well, then, what is the right question?” she asked in exasperation.

“The question could be... did Sesshoumaru love anyone? He loved a small human girl named Rin who was his ward. She stayed with him until she was a teen, and then he visited her to bring her gifts. She grew into a beautiful woman,” Shippou said, and Natsumi watched as he seemed caught in time - almost living the story.

“Yes, I know about Rin, but he didn’t love her romantically,” Natsumi said. “Did he feel that way about Kagura is my question.”

“I don’t know. Sesshoumaru is not the most charming person, and he doesn’t exactly share his feelings with people,” Shippou said.

“Humph,” Natsumi said, eying him suspiciously. “That sounds like biased information. Plus, anyone who met Sesshoumaru for five minutes would know he wasn’t charming or extraverted.”

Shippou laughed. “Oh, Natsumi, trust me, you’re the charming one.”

Natsumi sighed again. “You really aren’t being helpful, are you? What’s Sesshoumaru’s history with Kagura? What did he feel for her?”

“Still not the right question,” Shippou said, and she met him with an angry stare. “The right question - is what did Kagura feel for Sesshoumaru?”

Immediately, Natsumi felt an odd jolt through her core - piercing from her loins to her heart. She blinked, feeling the same pain that she’d felt whenever she was in Sesshoumaru’s presence. Yet, he wasn’t here. 

“She -- she was deeply in love with him, and he knew she loved him. She loved him so much that she followed him through time,” Natsumi said, everything coming out in one breath and feeling like an old memory burned into her soul. Memories accosted her senses and the youkai woman’s essence came back to her - her feelings also returning in full form. Kagura hated her feelings for him at first, but then she grew to embrace them. She embraced her admiration of his beauty, her confidence in his prowess, and her belief that he could save her.

The feelings began to overwhelm Natsumi, and she swallowed hard, almost to swallow the pain of an old life.

Shippou nodded, and Natsumi felt tears rolling down her cheeks. “Kagura’s love changed her life. It changed her whole destiny.”

“And Sesshomaru - he felt something too for Kagura. Remorse? Gratitude?”

“Admiration,” Shippou said, and Natsumi was surprised to get a straight answer out of him. He shrugged. “Though that may be a biased opinion.”


	20. True Intentions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the 20th installment, written for the "Diversion" prompt at ib4y20.

Natsumi sighed. “But...I already know that Kagura loved Sesshoumaru. I can feel it in my dreams. No, there’s something else here. There’s something else at work that is affecting me physically.”

“Oh? What do you think that is?” Shippou asked.

“I don’t know,” Natsumi said, and she picked out five books from the piles she’d actually check out. She knew specifically those books contained history about Sesshoumaru’s life.

“It’s obvious to you that Kagura was in love with Sesshoumaru,” Shippou said. “It’s probably a diversion.”

“A what?” Natsumi asked, confused.

“If you truly are her reincarnation, and I’m convinced you are, Kagura’s love for Sesshoumaru is extending through you. But there’s something else at play here,” Shippou said.

“And you know what that diversion is,” she said, eying him meticulously. She saw the fire and mischief in Shippou’s eyes, but she also saw something else: sadness.

“Your best bet is to speak to Sesshoumaru,” he said. “Whatever you need to do, you need to get over this pain when in his presence.”

Natsumi nodded in agreement, yet she was wary of the potential pain. Carefully, she mulled over Shippou’s recent words. 

“Shippou-san, when you said that Kagura is extending her love for him through me, is there perhaps another way she’s extending herself through me?” she asked him, and she saw him turn away.

“It’s possible,” he said. “I’ve known stories of powerful miko trying to revive an old past life into a new body. Kagura was originally a youkai birthed from another youkai. It’s unusual she would die to find herself reborn as human, but the power, the magic, it may still be within her grasp.”

Natsumi felt her blood go cold, and for a second, she wondered if Kagura was listening to them as they began to discover her intentions. Her head ached again, a piercing stab behind her eye, and Natsumi tried to shake it off.

“Why would she want to take over my body?” Natsumi asked, gathering her books as they headed to the front desk. “Do you think she would do that? Is that why I feel this pain?” Natsumi added, and Shippou shook his head softly.

“I don’t know,” he said, and she knew he was only sharing a half truth with her. Shippou knew more, but Natsumi supposed he wasn’t fully helping because he was being held back, or he didn’t think it was his place to tell.

Shippou scanned the books she wanted to check out and handed them back to her. He probably sensed that she was troubled because he added one more tidbit to her mystery. “I would think, in Kagura’s position, she’d want to use your body to bring herself back, not only to fulfill her lost love, but also because she believes she can save him.”

Natsumi’s eyes widened from surprise. “Save him? Save him from what?”

Shippou said nothing but goodbye, and Natsumi left the library with an armful of books and more questions than answers.


	21. True Purpose

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the 21st installment, written for the "Xyst" prompt at ib4y20.

Sesshoumaru was enjoying solitude in his garden when his mobile phone rang. Looking down at the caller ID, he was pleased for once that it was Shippou calling. Normally, the fox youkai irritated him, but this time Sesshoumaru was more than happy to take his call.

“Well?” he answered it, knowing that the subject was Natsumi.

“She was here for a long time. She’s very curious about Kagura and about you. Though, now it seems she’s more concerned about Kagura’s spirit than you being a youkai. For some reason, that didn’t even faze her.”

“Hmph,” Sesshoumaru replied. He was hardly surprised. If Natsumi was experiencing supernatural signs of Kagura’s presence, he was sure she would be easy to believe any strange explanation.

“She’s really lost though,” Shippou said. “You really need to talk to this woman. Her whole life has been turned upside down since she encountered you.” The fox demon paused, and Sesshoumaru hung on his words. “Good going, man.”

“Quiet,” Sesshoumaru said. He rose from his garden bench and began pacing down the walkway lined with trees. “I have been trying to reach Natsumi, but she cannot stand to be around me without passing out from pain.”

“Hrmm, she told me that. You really have to do something about that. Maybe there’s a concoction from a miko that can settle Kagura’s spirit,” Shippou said.

“You think the pain is from Kagura?” Sesshoumaru asked, but Shippou didn’t respond. Sesshoumaru was sure the fox was holding something back, and as always, he knew more than what he was saying. Such things just added to the list of ways the kit could annoy him.

Finally, Shippou’s tone was stern as he said, “Look, these are things you need to talk with Natsumi yourself. I got her started on the right path. It’s your turn to finish it.”

When the fox hung up, Sesshoumaru pursed his lips. He headed out his gardens and out to his garage. He eyed one of his red Teslas and headed to the safe with all the keys. When he jumped inside the car, he thought of any powerful miko around in this time that he could consult. Only one came to mind.

It appeared he had to pay her a visit to see if there was anything he could do to ease Natsumi’s pain long enough to engage with her. Truthfully, he knew it was a curious trait of his to be so concerned with the woman, but he was determined to learn the truth - and to know what a reincarnated Kagura was really like in this woman’s form.

What did it mean for him to be reunited with her? Somewhere deep in his bones he knew this was his true purpose, even now as the youkai disease was creeping into his body.

Would Natsumi be enough for him to survive in this world? First, he thought, he had to make sure Natsumi could even talk to him long enough without it affecting her health.


	22. I Am Not Kagura

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the 22nd installment, written for the "If you spend too much time thinking about a thing, you'll never get it done.-Bruce Lee"" prompt at ib4y20.

Natsumi closed the book with a snap and sighed deeply. She looked at her cup of tea mournfully, as she had only drunk half of it and the rest of it was dark and cold. She frowned, looking at the pile of books she’d checked out from the library. Sighing again she glanced at her notes about Kagura and Sesshoumaru. 

Her notes about Sesshoumaru were surprisingly detailed compared to hers of Kagura. As the information about the infamous youkai buzzed over her brain, she shook her head and rose from her kitchen table.

She headed to her bathroom and looked in the mirror. She was a slight, average looking Japanese woman with a button nose, dark eyes that were larger than most, and shorter dark hair that curled around her ear lobes. As a nervous habit, she pushed the strands behind her ears and watched the curl hug them naturally.

One thing was certain, she had always been Minora Natsumi. She had grown up in Hokkaido with a loving family, and her mother had stayed home to take care of her and her brother while their father worked on an assembly line for a toy company. Sometimes he had brought home toys that had been broken or painted incorrectly, and he would fix them and let his children have them. Her brother Shinji, would always push ahead and grab the toy he wanted first, and Natsumi, though irritated, would let him have his way. She knew, by a definite character calculation, that her brother would grow tired of the toy in a day or so and then Natsumi would have her turn with it. 

Natsumi was patient. She was patient about everything, which is probably why she was still in her late twenties and single. She had been on some dates before, and she had connected with others through internet dating sites, but no one was suitable enough. No one excited her enough that she could quell her patient thoughts and not wait for someone better.

No man consumed her thoughts, that is, not until Sesshoumaru Taiki had walked into her life. Whenever he was in her thoughts a hot burn would pulsate in her heart and spiral in her chest. He was beautiful, she admitted, but she did not think he was a man that would like an average woman like herself.

Now, after spending much time doing research, she was sure Sesshoumaru’s interest in her was only because of Kagura.

“But I am not Kagura,” she said to herself in the mirror sternly. She narrowed her eyes at herself. “I will never be you, and you will never take me over so you can be with him.”

Her head throbbed again, and Natsumi was sure that Kagura did not like that statement. She didn’t care. She wouldn’t let this youkai woman take over her body. It scared her what Kagura could do to her. What is a human’s power compared to a youkai’s? And if her spirit had lasted this long, as wind of course - one of Kagura’s powers that Natsumi had come upon in her research, then who knew what the youkai woman could really do to her.

Natsumi laughed. Of course, Kagura was no longer corporeal. Did she need Natsumi’s body to get exactly what she wanted? Natsumi assumed that was why she felt pain every time she got near Sesshoumaru. Perhaps it was Kagura’s spirit struggling to take her over so she could come out and be with him.

“The hell if I know,” Natsumi said to herself, and she looked at her reflection in the mirror again, feeling crazy. The whole ordeal with past lives and meeting Sesshoumaru was making her lose her mind.

She took a deep breath, and then another, and she looked at herself and tried to hold onto her memories of herself, with her family and with her friends. Even with the losers she dated and let go. She was her own self, and she would not let this ruin her life.

“I’m over-thinking this,” she said to herself. “I need to stop thinking, stop researching, and just act. I need to solve this Kagura problem once and for all!” she told herself in determination.

But that meant only one path. Natsumi had to confront Sesshoumaru, even if it pained her. Even if she bled all over him in order to say one sentence to him. She would do it if it meant he could help her through this so she could move on with her life.

Natsumi paused, and an ugly thought came through her head that she almost wanted to deny.

What if Sesshoumaru wanted Kagura to come back? What if he was never really forthright with his emotions and learned to love her after all?

Natsumi shuddered with fear as anxiety came over her in waves. No, she hoped it wasn’t true.

What if Sesshoumaru wanted Kagura to take over her after all?


End file.
